It’ll be okay. Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will be okay. And if you’re reading that first sentence and it doesn’t resonate with you, maybe keep reading because what’s there to lose, right?! And if you’re reading the first sentence and it triggers something in you, I’m talking happiness, sadness or anger…well maybe you should keep reading too. This post isn’t about faking a positive perspective. The world isn’t always kind and life isn’t always fair. There’s always multiple ways to view a situation. We’re never going to always pick the “right” one, but the more you shift and open up to things around you, the easier it will be to ebb and flow with this thing called life.
There will be days when it feels like nothing can go wrong. And days when it feels like nothing can go right. There will always be days like that. It doesn’t matter if you’re the Dalai Lama, you’re still going to have “those days”. And even when you have the good days, the thought creeps back in, “well this won’t last forever, something “bad” is bound to happen.” Of course it won’t last forever and something “bad” will always come along. Not to be a buzz kill, but it’s the reality. Nothing ever stays the same. If it did, well, that would be boring wouldn’t it? If you ate ice cream for every meal, you probably would get tired of it. Life is about contrast.
We want to define everything, right? We want to call things “good” and call things “bad”. We want to define who we are by our job, our religion, our family, our friends, and our hobbies. Whether it’s society or human nature, it’s something that fuels who we are and it’s different depending on our values and experiences. These definitions keep us grounded in a sense. Again there is nothing “bad” about those definitions, they actually help us structure our lives. But we get into trouble when we hold so tightly to those definitions and then one day they get shaken. Normally this happens when a significant life event occurs. Who are you then? Do you cling to what’s left? Do you run away? Or do you sit back and let life unfold? There’s no perfect answer here. And I’m not here to say, which option is the best. But in those moments when life and all those things that define you feel like they’re slipping away, allow yourself to just be. It sounds super simple right? Too simple…so simple, that I’m sure some of you just rolled your eyes.
Don’t put up your walls just yet…just being is probably one of the hardest, yet most freeing places to be. We can run around all day, living up to our definitions and expectations, but in reality nothing is stagnant. You’ll never get everything done or ever fully feel satisfied if deep down you desire to keep everything concrete. There will always be change, especially when it comes to defining ourselves and the world around us.
It takes courage to get on a plane. It takes courage to climb to the top of a mountain. It takes courage to take on a new challenge. But probably the biggest challenge is to sit with yourself. No music, no distractions, just you. You….all your beautiful qualities, and all of your vulnerabilities. The same is true when life occurs in ways that don’t always feel so comfortable. Do you cling or recoil? Sometimes it’s good to take a step back in order to allow the sky to open up. But instead of putting up all the walls, let it all flow through you…the love, the pain, and the fear. You can play it over again and again in your head hoping that you can hold on to a concrete reality, but honestly you’ll never know how it will really play out. Get comfortable with the uncertainty. Look at your fears head on…once you do that, well, what’s there really to be afraid of? That’s freedom!
So the next time your world gets shaken, don’t cling, don't run, have courage and watch what’s going on...go back to the basics… your breath, your body, your feelings. It’s all normal…you’re not alone. And it’ll be okay. Again…Maybe not today, maybe not tomorrow, but it will be okay.
I’m still on this ride too, so I know the roller coaster. It’s a little different for all of us and like I mentioned it’s not a fair world. But do you want to be a victim to life or open up to it? Neither is “good or bad”, it’s all about what kind of perspective you want to take and therefore leading to the type of life you want to live. We’re all going to make mistakes and make the “safe” choice sometimes. But maybe take the challenge once and a while and see what happens. Not to be cliché, but life’s a journey. We all know how it’s going to end (to some degree) so ease up on yourself and let it be.